The Gift

Every year. I recognize two events. The birth of my younger brother Marc and the day he died.

Today is the 46th anniversary of his death, a tragic, shocking, and traumatizing day
for my family and me. It was hard to imagine that in one moment, this twelve-year-old little boy was laughing, playing, and having a ball, and the next moment he was gone.

Each year I write these posts/emails not to make you feel bad and certainly not to gain your sympathy or condolences. I write them for two reasons, one to keep Marc’s memory alive, and two, as a gift to you. What gift could such a tragedy bring? Well, over the past 46yrs. My family and I had to figure out how to live and how do we continue our lives without Marc.

We had years of conversations to come to terms with what happened. And how we are doing as a family and as individuals. The more we talked, one topic kept coming up. How each of us used Marc’s death to change our lives.

Obviously, at thirteen years old, I had not lived enough life to figure out how to change my life, LOL!

I only knew my new reality. And that was. My brother, who was a year younger than me, was gone. And if he could be killed, I could too, so I better do something with my life right now! And what I believe was a week or two after his funeral is when I decided to be a musician! My siblings and our mom made similar decisions to jump-start their lives, as well.

As living beings, we go through traumatizing experiences in life. Once you have gone through a painful experience. There are two things you should consider. One is a healing process. Whatever that means for you. It is important to heal the body, spirit, and mind. And second, what good came out of it for you. I can honestly say that had it not been for the death of my brother, I wonder if I would have pursued music? Until April 11th, 1976, I was a child playing with my airplanes, rockets, racing car set, and my little brother.

After that day, I wanted to be a bass player! And that was The Gift. Look for it. It is always there.

What gift did you receive after a painful or traumatizing experience?